NEW fun STOCK MARKET TERMS

 Just for laughs ! 

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS_*

 

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer .  

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. 

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius . 

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance , the wife gets no jewellery , and the husband gets no fun . 

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling even lower .

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

DIVIDEND - mission impossible. 

BROKER -- What my broker has made me . 

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell . 

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock . 

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected . 

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks . 

CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet .

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past-year investor who ' s now locked up in a nuthouse . 

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use .

And do not forget - NSE , which is now

NATIONAL SHOCK EXCHANGE .